Recovering from grad school

It's been a long time since I've posted, and there have been a lot of changes in my life. New job, new diet (more on that soon), new apartment. No promises on how consistent I will be on posting, but with time comes perspective, and I wanted to share some of that. Just think of it as one of those reality tv shows, where the show goes in and changes someone's life and then a few months later they revisit them. In my revisit, I'd like to talk about what it takes to recover from graduate school.

Emotionally
I think anyone that has been in grad school will agree that it's enormously stressful and that they take solace in knowing that it is a temporary predicament. There's overwhelming pressure to produce either brought down upon you by your advisor or self-imposed by your desire to succeed. Not to mention the physical exhaustion from long hours, and the depression that can come from lack of sleep, poor nutrition, and the fact that your experiment failed yet again and you have no idea what to do next. Throw on top of that the fear of your future career (fear which is experienced by every grad I've ever talked with), and it's easy to end up a mess. For me all of this was pretty easily fixed after I started a new job and no longer had to deal with the daily stresses that come from the grad school environment. This was one of the best rewards for me in my decision to leave, I just feel happier and less stressed.

Physically
Did I mention the lack of sleep and poor nutrition? It's easy to succumb to a fast food diet, and I found myself indulging in comfort foods constantly. Sugary coffee drinks, cookies at every seminar, pizza when grading tests, beer at every social event, burgers, chinese, or mexican food for lunch and/or dinner when I felt too tired to cook. (Sounding familiar?) So not only did I put on the freshman 15 in college, I quickly put on another 15 during grad school. (On a side note, kudos to the grads who use some of their few hours of free time to go running or to the gym, I've never liked either and didn't find it a good way to relax.) I also developed acid reflux, which my doctor told me I'd have to deal with for the rest of my life by taking a pill every morning. To sum up, grad school definitely did a number on me, one that I will be recovering from for months if not longer. If you're on your way to or in grad school now, I encourage you to do what you can to eat well and get enough sleep to hopefully make life a little easier for yourself.

On a happier side-note, with my new diet I've already lost 20 lbs and my acid reflux has totally subsided. I'm following a Paleo diet (for a great introduction get Robb Wolf's book The Paleo Solution: The Original Human Diet), which I highly recommend and plan to devote a whole post to later.

Socially
It was pretty hard to say goodbye to all of my friends and move into a new circle of people. And let's face it, it's hard to spend time with grad students when you aren't one yourself. I do still see a few occasionally, but not nearly enough. I'm working on making connections at my new job, and that's something that takes time whenever you make a transition like this.

Financially
Haha..this one is a joke. Having a real job is AWESOME. My salary nearly doubled and I have no complaints.

Do I have any regrets?
None. I'm as happy and confident in my decision as I was once I had committed to it. I have no desire to go back to the bench and I think the world of IT is a much better fit for me.

My apologies...

Wow, sorry about the gaping whole of nothingness that has been this blog as of late. Corporate America has been a lot more demanding than I thought it would be, so I haven't had time to post. I will try to correct that tonight when I will touch on some of my observations of the differences between Corporate America and Academia.

Do you have the skills to pay the bills?

by flickr user dulk

Because I am seeking an alternative science career, the skills I've acquired through my education really aren't that useful. I mean, yes, I know a lot about chemistry, but what good is that for a desk job? So which skills are the most valuable in terms of securing employment?  Well, in my humble opinion they happen to be the skills that I developed independently as hobbies. For instance, the computer skills I've developed over a lifetime. I taught myself how to code HTML / CSS and became very comfortable with image manipulation software and office products. Some of those skills were valuable in graduate school, academia tends to greatly value free webdesign in my experience. The hard part is explaining to employers that my hobbies really have trained me in these skills well enough to justify employing me in a job where I do only that.

Luckily, I found an employer willing to take a chance on me. So I'm leaving chemistry for his sexy younger brother: computer science. I will be starting a job with a software company in a few weeks, and while I have mixed feelings about abandoning science, I am excited about the position and hope that I find it enjoyable. Regardless the position pays much better than a grad student stipend, and it allows me to stay near the other half of my two-body problem.

Right now I consider this a hiatus from alternative science careers, but who knows where this journey will take me. I hope to continue writing about topics relevant to the audience I have built, but apologize in advance if I begin to diverge into tangential topics.

Is there a stigma associated with the chemistry MS degree?

As an undergraduate I had little understanding of the differences between a MS and PhD. I understood that both were advanced degrees, and the MS seemed more attainable while the PhD was something that only a super genius could earn. (My belief in PhD = super genius was totally eradicated in grad school by the way.) As a first year graduate student I still didn't know what the difference was other than the PhD took longer and would supposedly raise your earning potential, but another view of the difference between the MS and PhD degrees quickly emerged.

The MS is not formally offered by the Chemistry Department at Big U, instead only graduate students pursuing a PhD are admitted. In fact most large research universities have this policy. So where do the MS-holders come from at these schools? The MS is awarded to wash-outs, quitters, people who couldn't quite hack it. At least, that's what I believed as a first year graduate student, and honestly I continued believing it up until I decided to leave. I know I'm not alone as a graduate student in this belief. I think it's something we say to comfort ourselves; as we struggle through difficult classes and adjusting to the responsibilities and pressures of independent research it's comforting to look around and say, "I'm still here so I must be better/smarter/more dedicated than the people who aren't." It's a sentiment that spreads easily in academia, where many elitist attitudes prevail.

by flickr user ohdarling

This attitude, which I held myself, created a feeling of shame and inferiority in me as I struggled with the decision to quit. Statements like "there's no shame in taking a Masters" when spoken by professors leads the listener to believe that at least some must see it as shameful. I finally resolved my feelings, and made the important distinction that I was choosing to leave. There's some truth to the idea that "the MS is awarded to wash-outs", if a student fails any of the PhD requirements after completing their coursework and is asked to leave they will leave with a MS. But people end up leaving for a lot of reasons, and of the people I know that have left, only a couple were due to "wash-out". I chose to leave, with my head held high, knowing that I had the skills to finish. My question is, do employers and potential coworkers understand this distinction?

I only have a (small) view from academia, so if anyone from industry happens to read this I would love to hear your opinion. I'd really love to hear opinions from anyone actually. Maybe this distinction between choosing a MS and being given a MS as a consolation prize is most relevant for research positions and won't impact me in my search for an alternate career?

Anyway, this is why I'm always very careful to say "leaving with my masters" instead of "quitting". It's probably all in my head, but it makes me feel better.

**UPDATE (3/3/11, 10:30 pm)
I reached out to Chemjobber to provide an industry perspective, here's what he had to say:

Ms MS-mind: Is the opinion that the MS is a "wash-out" degree held by chemists in industry?

Chemjobber: I'd say, well, no and yes. No, I've never heard anyone make the statement that M.S. degree holders are washouts or that they are less capable scientists. Most Ph.D. chemists that I've seen treat the M.S.-level chemists with a good deal of respect and willingness to listen and follow their advice.

At the same time, it is well known that (in the pharma world) Ph.D. chemists have an easier time rising through the ranks than M.S. chemists. Is this because M.S. chemists are viewed as somehow less intelligent or worse scientists? No, I'd say that this is mostly about Ph.D. chemists thinking that leadership of other scientists is somehow best done by Ph.D. holders. While that doesn't really hold true, I think it's safe to say that it's conventional wisdom.

Ms MS-mind: Could this MS stigma be one reason why there are so few positions advertised for MS-degree holders? (My personal observation is that the vast majority of positions that mention the MS say PhD-preferred.)

Chemjobber: Tough to say, really, but I don't think it can be attributed to that theory.

Here's a couple of quick theories of my own: 1) there is a glut of Ph.D. chemists right now. Why not get a Ph.D. chemist for slightly higher than a M.S. chemist's salary? 2) the nature of the chemical/pharmaceutical business has sent tasks typically done by M.S. chemists overseas or 3) we're at a point in the R&D cycle in the US where more innovation is required, so more Ph.D.s are being hired, rather than M.S. chemists. All of those, of course, are fairly half-baked theories.

Ms MS-mind here again, thanks for the correspondence CJ! If you'd like to read more about this topic, I found a relevant post while digging through the Chemjobber archive. It references a comment thread with some passionate debate about the "wash-out" stigma.

Job Advice: Your university might be the answer

by flickr user dullhunk

The problem with looking for alternative science careers is that there's no consistent way they are advertised. So far the most promising opportunities I've found have come from browsing through job listings by category instead of searching for a specific job title. Some good advice I've received recently is to search as broadly as possible, and your University just might provide the opportunity you seek.

Many departments in large universities hire administrative staff that deal with science and research issues, but aren't involved in the lab. For example, a Research Grants Administrator assists PIs in developing and submitting grant applications. If you enjoy science and writing this could be a great position. I actually applied for just such a position at Big University, and they were only asking for a BS degree and some research experience. As an MS holder with 3 years of graduate level research experience I feel I am well qualified for the position. Now I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for a response.

To find this position I went to the University's Department of Human Resources and browsed through their job listings. I suggest looking through all of the relevant categories as sometimes jobs might end up where you least expect. There were also a few IT positions that my tech savvy could qualify me for. I guess the key is to leave no stone unturned when looking for an alternative science career, especially in this economy.

A sea of possibilities lay before me

I dealt with a lot of anxiety and emotional turmoil as I made my decision to leave graduate school (more on that in a separate post), but the single most frightening and exhilarating question was "What do I do now?" I knew that I didn't want to work at a bench anymore, so that ruled out any lab positions. I also decided that at this point I was not interested in staying in academia, neither as a lecturer or high school teacher.  I had been casually looking into alternative science careers for some time, but I still felt like I didn't know of very many options. Here are a few I considered:

• Patent Agent / Law
I didn't consider it for very long, but I was aware of it as an option. To be a patent agent you just need to pass that part of the bar, and can learn the necessary info by studying on your own. See this JAEP post for more on Patent Law.
• Policy: Congressional Legislative Assistant
I learned about this from a post at JAEP, and looked into the mentioned fellowships (AAAS, ACS). Unfortunately, these positions seemed more competitive than I originally thought and required political experience that I lacked. (The AAAS also requires a PhD.)
• Scientific Publishing
I enjoy writing and learning new science, so I thought this might be a good fit. Unfortunately to be an editor they expect you have a PhD. I could apply to be a publications assistant, and I did see a few openings with PLoS and Nature Publishing Group.
• Hollywood Science Advisor
This sounds like the coolest job ever. You read over scripts and answer questions to assure the accurate portrayal of science in TV and movies. I learned about this from ScriptPhD, but was nervous about the "make your own way" aspect of it.
• Science Librarian
I sat down and talked with the chemistry librarian in our department to understand her position. It sounds like a nice blend of education/communication and resource management, but it would a MS in library science and I didn't feel up to immediately starting a two year commitment. JAEP also did a profile of this position.
• Technical Writer
This could combine my interest in writing and communication with my technical knowledge and skills. I learned at a job fair that most scientific companies hire or contract with technical writers (someone has to write all those manuals and online help pages).

Technical writing is the career path I've decided to follow for now. I realize that it's not the most glamorous position, but since I learned most of my new skills in graduate school by reading through product documentation, I understand the value in friendly, informative literature about a program or product. Also factoring into my new career path is the dreaded two-body problem; I want to stay in the area of Big University at least until my boyfriend finishes his degree.

So there we are. I'm starting to send out applications and since I'm so poignantly aware of how awesome I am, I naively believe that my time from now until the beginning of a new career will be short. I hope you enjoy my continued reflections on graduate school and forthcoming contemplations on the alternative chemistry/science job market.

Zombies inspired me to blog

Feed by Mira Grant

For the past few years I have had a growing fascination in post-apocalyptic survival stories, and they are all over the place. TV shows (Survivors, The Colony), movies (28 Days Later, The Book of Eli), video games (Fallout 3, Fallout New Vegas) and books (World War Z) most of them recent provide intriguing examples of how survivors would cope after a major disaster. I find this survival and ultimately the rebuilding of society fascinating. And, of course, if you throw in zombies it's even more amazing (World War Z and Fallout 3 were the real initiators for all of this).

My interest in both post-apocalyptic survival and zombies led me to pick up the book Feed by Mira Grant at the end of last year. In it the world was exposed to two viruses, one that cured the common cold and one that cured all cancers, unfortunately the combination of these two viruses causes the recently deceased to reanimate. In this new world where most average people stay at home in their well-controlled secure neighborhoods, journalists have become the brave adventurers. And in this new world, it is not the large syndicated newspapers or TV channels of main stream media that people trust, but bloggers. Bloggers have risen as the authoritative voice of this new society because they were the first to take the zombie threat seriously and provide practical advice and help to get people through the first outbreaks. The mainstream media on the other hand tried to placate the public and assure them that everything was fine, even as deaths from zombie attacks were rising.

by flickr user antigone78

So the funny thing is that out of this whole back-story I found the idea of reanimated corpses attacking people more plausible than bloggers taking over from mainstream media. I started to give the idea more credence as I delved more into the world of science writing. I had a blog during my freshman year of college and used it as a place to broadcast my youthful sarcasm and wit, that's probably why I associate blogs with teenagers trying to be clever. Still, I've run across many very serious blogs in recent weeks. Professional scientists discussing both the science and business aspects of their companies and careers. It's also easy to find critiques of recently published work and speculation of the current scientific job market. As I start to gather more of my news from blogs instead of mainstream media I realize that this futuristic idea of a blogging news media might not be so far off.

Then I ran across a conference called ScienceOnline 2011, that invites anyone interested in discussing how web and social media can be used to promote science to register and attend. Unfortunately I came across this conference just as it was ending, but I look forward to the chance to attend next year's Science Online. For now I'll continue blogging and maybe it will lead to a career, if nothing else I'll be prepared to offer advice if zombies start rising up.

How I got here

by flickr user Schlüsselbein2007

As I mulled over the decision on whether to leave grad school or not, I started thinking about what led me to grad school in the first place. During my senior year of college, as I prepared to graduate with a BA in Chemistry, I knew two things: 1) I didn't want to be stuck at a bench doing menial labwork and 2) being a professor was the only other option I knew about. I enjoyed teaching, and I wanted to teach the more "mature" students at the college level as opposed to high school students.

The chemistry faculty at my small liberal arts college had been impressed by my teaching ability and the research I had done for them over the summers, and they strongly encouraged me to attend graduate school. I was completely naive as to what graduate school entailed, but when I learned I would be paid a salary to get an education I thought it would be foolish not to go.

Now, as I look back it's easy to wish that someone would have advised me better, that if they'd only warned me of the daunting task before me I could have saved myself a lot of grief. But I know that I was also incredibly determined and stubborn, and I would not have heeded the warning. In the end I learned a lot about myself, and I don't think I would have learned it any other way. Still I hope that through this blog I can give courage to other students who find themselves depressed and miserable in graduate school so they know that they can make a change for themselves too.